Saturday, January 18, 2014

Here We Go!

I have much on my heart and mind to share after such a quiet time. I am only struggling to know where to begin. Things have happened in the last few years that have changed how I think and have painted the world in different colors. Some of them will come out here and some of them won't ever. I keep asking myself why I am coming back here to write. My greatest hope is that some how our story will be of some encouragment to someone. Secondly, my love of writing. I as well, have come to love and enjoy a small group of women in the online world that inspire and encourage me in a way that I have yet to find in real life. This could be due to the fact that I find words on a page more penetrating then conversation much of the time.

Speaking of words, I love them. Putting letters together to make meaning, then adding that individual definition together to make long thoughts and descriptions is a joy. Writing is like painting emotions and ideas on a canvas. There is also power in placing letters in sequence together. I think of God and him being the word and speaking the word. Words are penetrating, beautiful and a means into a persons mind and heart. They are a treasure. Not that I am expecting anyone to treasure my words but I very much enjoy the exchange of them. I treasure the places they can take me, either into a persons heart and story or to a place or idea I have never ventured. 

TOGETHER, my word for this year has been swimmming around my head for weeks. This is no small task for me. I tend toward being very independent and love doing my own thing. My oldest child is similar. Then we have my introvert husband, the out of the box middle guy and my very extroverted talkative five year old. Little man is the one who says I just want someone in the room when I play...even if you aren't engaging with him. I honestly find the homeschool lifestlye we live very intense in this area. I like quiet and peace. I am a home body and not a big social butterfly. Our mix makes TOGETHER intersting at times. Don't get me wrong, I love homeschooling (most of the time) but like I said it can get intense. I have a child who struggles socially and academically so togetherness is sometimes the last thing I am interested in being. Just keeping it real.

This particular word came about based on some things I was reading coupled with a realization that our family was its own small community first before any other. We have been a family who has in the past spent much of our time serving the church, being there for pretty much everything all while my husband communted into a major city everyday for work. Add in a few activties for the kids and you have a big family scatter even though we homeschool. You see, I had certain ideas about how the good Christian lived life, much of this was taught or insinuated through the group of churches we were apart. Some of which now I see as unhealthy. I am beginning to see community through a different lens.  Though I do believe in being involved in the local church we feel we needed to make some changes. Changes where we as a family, together live and move in our local community. This one is a big change for us. I hope to talk more about it at another time.

The other areas of TOGETHER that we are working on is current culture and the idea of hard work. The way our culture is headed, further and further away from real conversation, real connection face to face, personal responsibility and others orientation......the further I want to wade upstream. No one is going to teach these kids to navigate the world besides us, their parents. Being together during these crucial years is a responsibility we see more clearly now. We want our family culture to be about real conversation, face to face contact, integrity, getting outside of buildings and away from activties. Let us not forget some good ole' hard work as well. There is also how the choices we make effect the world we live in and the food we eat. This is a whole post of its own.

Honestly, I am intimidated by many of the changes we are looking to make. I have sat by and not moved forward mainly because I am a chicken. I feel like a fish out of water living on the outskirts of a major city. I like simple, slow and purposeful. I am a misfit here. I can either think that and wish it were different or I can live differently right where I am. I am voting for the "live different where I am" part while I shake in my boots. 

We are starting by getting outside together no matter the weather. 

We are planning our garden for the spring. Our desire is to have someone plant with us who doesn't have a yard. For our suburb, we have a big one. Can atleast one thing this year, maybe more :)

Teach the kids some survival skills this summer. The kids planning and building a fort in the back yard. 

All the kids  becoming part of what is happening in the kitchen. 

There are more goals but we will start here. 

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